I was sitting on the beach one summer evening, feeling intense loneliness, when I felt something against my back. It was a feisty little dog, sitting so close to me that passers-by thought it was my dog barking at them.
This made me realise loneliness is something I created for myself because I wanted no one to share the beauty of the dying day with me. I was too scared to smile at strangers or talk to the flower seller and even to trust the dog who tried to ease my loneliness.
This made me think of what longevity experts say about how to live a life of fulfilment. No, they don’t suggest getting a dog! But, connection with people is one of the top reasons for people getting beyond 100 years old.
I think, because we are multifaceted people, we must have several groups of people we spend time with – so that it is unnecessary to sit on a beach feeling sorry for ourselves.
I also recognise that some people need less interaction with others, because of their personality types.
We can eat and drink and exercise all the correct things, but if meaningful connections with people are lacking, we may become emotionally numb. I may even become seriously depressed because social connection gives me a sense of purpose and belonging.
What could be as enjoyable as laughing at silly little things or sitting around a fire or watching the sunset, sharing ideas and your heart?
I often wonder if we, in our fear of connecting, have attempted to replace our social media with these connections. The responsibility rests on us to make time for others in our lives, as everyone in your life teaches you some lessons.
The danger of social connection is change because people and circumstances change. We cannot worry about this change when spending time with someone because we cannot keep people in cages to be only ours nor can we bind fetters around their feet to keep them too close.
Enjoy the time you have with the group that challenges you or makes you laugh so hard that you cannot breathe.
Shrug off that fear to make new friends! Each stranger has the potential to teach you something and build another brick into your longevity!
Copyright Annalie Anticevich© March 2023
Thank You to Shane Rounce for his photo on https://unsplash.com/@shanerounce
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